sweetkisses x 6:54 AM
Monday, October 16, 2006
haha acty my maid was sent back almost a week ago, i typed this post then but didnt post it. but i dont wanna let my post go to waste so yes im posting it now. so yeah try to turn back e time abit. heh.
sweetkisses x 6:10 AM
Life sucks. For people who had talked to me recently, no not cos of eoys. Okay maybe cos of eoys but its not cos of tt tt im blogging now. Life sucks, because of the fact of how two normal people can have such drastically different lives. One can be going to a top school, living in a not bad house, having almost the best education, living life pampered by parents and family while the other struggle going thru much pains just to get a decent job to support her family. In case ur thinking what im talking about, im talking abt my new maid and I.
My new maid got sent back home today. I think shes on her way back to Indonesia now, ytd when she left she cried don’t know how many times. Even my earlier maid who had been with us for 2 yrs didn’t react so greatly. She hugged us, said bye and just practically cried.
Why? Cos she was underaged. Theres this stupid law tt Singapore set last yr tt the minimum age for maids is 23. She was 19, she bluffed her way to Singapore. No one knew, maybe her agent did. Everything went fine, she was ALREADY in Singapore, working with my family when one day, as all other new maids, she was sent for some thumb printing thing to get a work permit. And guess what? She was caught there. The police thought she looked underage and went to interrogate her. In e end she gave in and owned up. She was then given 11 days to settle and leave. And todays e 11th day I think.
Good things never happe for long. She was a very bubbly and cute girl, only 4 yrs older than me. Imagine when I ws born she was only 4. And look at me and her, im like enjoying life minus exams while she was torn away from her family, came overseas to work for people whom she never met before, no one would know what would happen to her here. She was honest, nice and innocent, not as scheming as my earlier one. We liked her, just tt I hadn’t gotten used to her. And before I could shes gone.
Ytd she went up to my grandma’s room, cried so much, I felt so sour. She was really really very pitiful. And it happened tt ytd I was also going thru some crisis of my own, feeling so depressed and sick of life. And then seeing her cry not only made me feel worse but als made me think about my plight and hers. Mine would be over in 2 weeks, and my grades, good or not, is not gonna affect my life in any way. Other than feeling sad and disappointed, but she? She left her family, almost made it, but then, in a moment of diff, shes gonna go home. Emptyhanded.
I was depressed not cos I saw her crying. I was depressed cos I thought of what lies ahead of her. Maybe cos I watched too many drama serials or what, I keep thinking like what if she borrowed money from loansharks? I mean like to come here, e agent paid for her first right, and now she hasn even earn anything and they’re sending her home. Owing the agent is okay but what if like she borrowed from the loansharks or sth. What if she were to go home and get haunted by them. What if she get sold or sth. And also maybe cos poor families in shows have mean fathers, what if she were to go home empty handed nd her parents scold her? I mean like, if they bear to send her off, it means tt they’re desperate for money and determined for her to go work. What would they do if they found out she failed. E more I think e more I feel gross and depressed. I want to help her but what can I do. Its just so ironic, how we complain all day about our lives. But hey, look at hers. Im just suddenly jolted by the fact tt both of us are humans, both teenage girls, and yet im here and shes there. Im sleeping in an air conned room, eating whatever I wanted and doing what I want, while shes washing my clothes, washing my toilet, cooking my food. And e worse thing is, im younger than her, but I have e right to order her around. And she has to listen. OH THIS SUCKS.
I just feel damn depressed by seeing e state shes in. she was crying and crying and guess what she told me when she left? ‘be careful okay? Take care ah, must study ah.’ and when she left she said again ‘must study everyday ah’. I really wanted to cry then, like omg shes leaving and shes still tinking of me. And I guess she hadn’t got e chance to study tts why. But don’t u think it sucks? Look at her, poor 19 yr old teenage going thru so much stress and trauma. Life sucks, life really sucks. Well my lifes gonna rock 2 weeks later, im gonna be happy soon but what abt her? E more I think of what will happen to her, e more I feel worried. don’t ask me why im caring so much abt a girl whom I’ve met only for 1.5 weeks. Maybe its cos during this stressful period, when ur under pressure, ur eyes somehow see things better, ur more aware of whats happening around you. Maybe if it were after exams, when im too obsessed with my own life, caring more abt myself being happy, I wouldn’t be caring much abt her. Maybe cos its now, when im down tt I do. Humans are just so selfish huh? Im selfish.
Argh I don’t know its just saddening to go thru this.
And haha to think I thought we could survive without a maid. Im ard dying today. My clothes, my bowls ahhaah, okay I gotta learn, to stand on my own, before I can go abt worrying for other people isn’t it?
Anyway h***** sucks. “ur grades do not equate to the effort u put in, I don’t care how much effort u put in, im just lookin for potential” thanks bitch, thanks. I know I know, tts e truth, tts how this world works, tts what keep this sucky place turning but e thing is isn’t it too harsh to drill such a stuff so directly to 15yr old girls like us? We know tt, but don’t remind us of tt. And when everyone is so sad and disappointed, you choose to say such a thing? Thanks ur damn sensitive. Look, I put in an effort, my grandma passed away during e sept hols. And I hadto put her death away FAST just to get started on this ss pt. I tried my best and u give me this? And not only didn’t u sound nice, ur telling me tt hardwork doesn pay off? Or ur telling me tt I suck, after all these effort still no quality.
And what ur so insistent on ur stand. Why? Cos u have 15 yrs of teaching experience? Well last time u taught at other schs, now ur teaching at rgs and like u said last time, welcome to our lives. Just like u said, things change, rgs is different from other schs, so u gotta learn tt we have a mind of our own and like to offer u our stand. And being a teacher, u shld learn how to ACCEPT them. Think thru it before u reject it. U have 15 yrs of teaching but u don’t even have 15 months of teaching IN RGS. U wanna talk abt experience, I can say I have more than you when it comes to rgs. I studied here, I belong here, I know things tt go on. And u don’t. so before u decide to give a comment or a grade and state ur stand, think twice.
Im gonna prove to you, tt hardwork DOES pay off. Tts why im mugging now right? Well quality is one thing but quality comes from effort. Im gonna prove to u this fact so much so tt its shoved right into ur mouth and chokes you. Im gonna prove tt hardwork does does does pay off. And when tt time comes, don’t go saying its cos I got such a wonderful teacher life you. Cos from e day u taught us, im on my own.
Anyway I got good news, my mum said tt my maid needn pay the agent cos its their fault, so now shes just going back to her old life, no debts nothing! ((: but I will miss her, 4 yrs later I will wait. Then she can come here (:
sweetkisses x 6:07 AM
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
yes just one more post and then i'll go mug. suddenly i have this happy moodswing, so better mug fast when its still there.haha well i was supposed to blog ytd but when i typed a whole lot of shit and click publish post, guess what? ''the page cant be displayed'' wah thanks thanks, i love you so much.but since i didnt feel very comfortable about that post, dont post also nvm. its about how rgs girls have no life and how love is in the eye of the beholder. the rgs girls no life one i think i no need blog people also know, after all people reading this blog mostly rg what. hahaha.but i was telling eileen abt the second topic and felt yes maybe i SHOULD blog abt it.it really amazes me how love can be so blind, so daring and so impossible.three months ago, i went to see a doctor at a nearby clinic. while collecting my medicine, i realised the lady who gave me the medicine (yes my eng sucks, i dont even know whats she called) she looks quite kiam pa. shes erm like u know shes young like 27 but she looks like 37 those kind. plus shes fat, her facial features are squashed together, she looks quite qian bian and put in straight, shes erm abit ugly. yeah and shes short and fat too. okay sounds abit like me:/ (pls don’t think im mean, im just trying to tell you she doesn look good,and im not laughing or mocking at her in any way okay? Look ugly people wont laugh at ugly people (: )but e point is its okay if you dont look pretty its okay. cos if you look good and ur attitude sucks, i wouldnt like you. and if u dont look good but ur nice, i will like you. ahh u get e point. but she, dont look good AND attitude sucks. she looks unfriendly and aquite stuck up, which pisses me off. hello im sick ard okay? show me some love (:yeah and then i was thinking, this kinda person sure cant find someone who loves her (okay as in a boyfriend lah) cos yeah u know what i mean.3 months later, yesterday, i was at the clinic again and then i saw her again.same old look, as qiam pa as ever, still unfriendly, still fat. and i was still looking at her when she walked out from behind the counter. what i saw next literally made me stone and stare for quite a few seconds......... SHE IS PREGNANT!okay like i tld eileen, thinking in a conventional way, if shes pregnant means shes married. and e irony is that 3 months ago i was still saying she wont even get a stead. and now shes pregnant, as in really big ard her stomach. or else how i can see right? shes so fat.and the funny thing is, eileen pointed out to me that, this means that when i met her 3 months ago, SHE WAS ARD PREGNANT. and i was still thinking shes single. but yu know what? i didnt manage to think this way tt time. i stll thought i was right 3 months ago and that she WAS acty single, but i forgot e fact how impossible for her to stead, get married, conceive a baby that looked like its ard 6 months, in just 3 months. yes thats e extent of my stupidity. when eileen told me then i ''oh yeah hor! means tt time shes ard pregnant''maybe you dont get whats e big deal about this but as in i just wanted to show how wrong someone can be about someone else. from single to being a mother. hahaha how wrong i can be. i was still thinking she wouldnt date anytime soon! but its comforting to know that love really is in the eyes of the beholder. love can be so blind.and it comforts me to know that love still exists in the absence of good looks, good bod and all the superficial stuff.and this brings me to another point that i also asked eileen. you see right, most of us now, we crush people cos of their looks or their talent or whatever, but seldom truly by their character. so that most prolly isnt true love. then if you walk along te streets, you will realise many couples, both not very good looking, but they look so close together. then they should be together for who they are and not how they look like. so does that mean true love is really regardless of looks and purely on character? or could you say you cant explain true love, since even the meanest people on earth date. as in someone loves them. so i asked eileen what exactly is true love. if what ur experiencing is true love, does it mean that if someone were to ask you why you love her, you wouldn be able to reply. cos thats love?hahah what is this man, some philosophy of love. hahaha but as in its true, dont you think so, you dont love for looks, you dont love for character, then what is your love for someone based on? okay exclude all those superficial stuff like fame and money, come on even normal people along the streets get married. okay thats based on the assumption that they marry cos of true love lah.omg okay im getting confused. okay bye.
sweetkisses x 9:28 AM
Monday, September 25, 2006
HADY WON. yes let me hear you say! HADY MIRZA! hahaha
i was still abit shocked when the results were announced. i thought jon will win. and im not as happy as last year. cos i do like jon too. as in he deserves to be the singapore idol too. not like sly tt shit ass. (: but yeah like i said to amelia, i do prefer hady still (((:
well u could say that jon got e star quality and can switch to the chi industry anytime. AND he can go into acting too. yes, but all these can be done as a runnerup too. but for the singapore idol, i think yes hady. well runnerups always go further than e winner, with sylvester e shit-ass as an exception. tt loser dare claim that "i heard tt people say jon is e me in this season" oh kiss my ass! come on, jon got more intellectual, more style more SUBSTANCE than you, not someone tt knows just how to wear PINK EMO SPECS, acts like a CHOU AH BENG, and gets into some marriage shit or sth if im not wrong right? yeah and not only was his contract not continued, it was cut! like e manager didnt even wait for it to end. tell me, WHAT KINDA LOSER IS TT? and where is he now? yeah in s'pore i know, tts wnat my dad said haha, but hes singing in some pub lounge now, like loser?! can you live up to the singapore idol runner-up title?!
haha okay why im talking about him but yes, i feel happy for hady but a lil sad for jon. and why is ken still so mean to hady! still say tt kinda thing when he win. and can tell gurmit singh all these people like jon, they keep mentioning him, but yeah lah he deserves to be mentioned, cos hes good. not like sly, e moment taufik's name was announced hes kicked to e back of e stage where no one gives a damn whats his name. HAHA!
hahaha today's show was much nicer than ytd's. e top 10 finalists' performance rock, except joakim's as usual. like comeon, even recorded still suck! like damn thwarted?! haha all he does is jump around e stage like a monkey. wah hes damn ýin shui si yuan' which means drink water think of its source, which also means erm not forgetting one's origin. joakim sure hasn forgotten man's ancestor, THE MONKEY, wait, is it monkey or ape? aiya same lah.
and energy sucks. their own song was erm okay, but their stand by me really cmi. lucky hady and jon saved it man. it was quite off loh.
and i realised we havent seen taufik for so long ard! i missed his first song, haha, but hes still as cool huh, acty i think he looks better than hady. but he seem to detached from si now, from e audience, the judges and gurmit singh. but his announcement of si was more climatic than hady's. and if im notm wrong, sly didnt come right? haha he shldn, no one wants a freaking poser on national television. haah but i think taufik's still as cool.
hmm what else, nothing ard lah.but whatever it is, yay that hady won. though its abit shocking and not as hong dong. hady didnt like dislocate his jaw and let it drop and like didnt cry or anything. they didnt show his mum! as in other than the scene where both mums and dads hug. so sweet, racial harmony (: and all e best for jon too, hes as much deserving as hady. but i still prefer hady. but good luck to jon too. ahaha
today's such an eventful day! haha and tmr's tues! slack day! and i didnt mug but nvm its worth it. (: yay and next its the dancefloor. hahah i like so you think you can dance better. and no more si for the next 2 yrs pls, or else people will get sick or it.
yup but yes, today's a happy day. minus tt disgusting coldsore on my lip. but yes, happy. H-A-P-P-Y! hahaah so spastic but nvm. hahaha and i cant post this now, i finally got conected to e internet and while typing this halfway i got cut off so im lke typing this on e internet window which is like disconnected from the internet ard.so cant post or everything gone. lol like how thwarted is that?!
sweetkisses x 6:44 AM
Sunday, September 24, 2006
i am sometimes quite amused at my stupidity.
monday (tmr) is my geog test so on fri, before i left the class, i specially took out my geog file from underneath my desk and put it in my locker, so that i can collect it on sat when im in sch cos e classroom is locked.
so yes, i did. on sat i collected my file and went home to sleep bfore mugging. and then i woke up, okay start mugging. and i realised i felt my geog testbook under my desk! wth. textbook more impt than file and yet i left it under my desk. and to think when i was taking my geog file out, i saw my geog textbook and even thoguht 'geog textbook'in my ming. and then i closed it without realising hey its GEOG textbook. like thwarted?!
okay thats not all. thinking tt i can borrow e textbook later at night from someone else, i took out my file to read e notes inside first. dont waste time right? and i reaslied that i havent filed my weathering notes into my geog file yet! they're still in my normal file, which i bring home EVERYDAY AND IS WITH ME RIGHT NOW AS WELL. wth, things tt shld bring home didnt bringe, and things tt i shldn bring home, i brought it home! i dont even need my geog file now! and i still have to lug it back to sch. wah thanks man. this is how thwarted i am. its either cos im a thwart tts why i call myself thwart, or its cos i call myself thwart and now im becoming one. ass!
and now im still unsure about weathering. everything tt needs to be studied ard studied, yet i dont know if its enough. ______ never told us anything! and she better mark our test properly this time, since its conventional marking and everything is standard. dont go say cos i didnt phrase is this way so u dont give me mark for thi point. i swear i will pull her usual two big ring earrings until her ears reach her shoulders. i miss mrs C.A.N! can she come back soon!
sweetkisses x 1:39 AM
Friday, September 15, 2006
so many things happened these past few day! im so gonna blog about it (:
thursday
I SWEAR NEVER TO SKIP MEALS AGAIN, well at least lunch and dinner. i had e second worse gastric of my life on thursday ( e worse was a saturday few months ago. that was HELL.) yeah what happened? cos i stupidly ate a heavy recess, so by lunch i was still full. plus geog is after lunch and i havent done e FA tt mrs ______ wanted us to do. and since shes been pmsing real bad these days, of course i havta do right? like thwarted lah. so i skipped lunch.
schoold ended at 3 and i bought lunch, and brought it to e clc, well mr chu allowed us to eat (: so i ate. and then half an hr later i felt a light pain in my stomach. at first i thought it was just a tummyache so i went to shit right? like thwarted? and then it got worse and i had to squat at the corridor outside clc for 20 plus min. then i went back in, wah really cmi, nattay said i was pale then and then nice nice ping fang, kevy, jia, nattay, yityng, and some others helped me get some hot water thingto put on my stomach. after vommitting 3 times, one in the toilet, twice in plastic bags, i got better.
but omg, i swear swear never to skip meals again. if need to, i will skip recess not lunch. so people remind me okay? i dont wanna get a gastric ever again. it sucks big time.
friday
ahhahaha im very very happy today! well nearing the end more like it. well today's the rehearshals of the youth science conference tmr and its also e judging round for poster presentations! well though we all say we dont mind getting nothing, we do midn right?
yeah and our q and a was screwed, to us at least, cos they asked qsns and stuff tt i neevr even knew exist. so yeah basically we thoguht we will get nothing, though secretly we still hope for distinction but we could just aim for merit. so scary right? okay thwarted lah.
and then, when they were announcing the distinction winners, they started with cat a, we're C7. then e lady was announcing, then from a she jumped to C. but C 12, 16, 22, sth like tt. so its like skipped us right? so no hope right? but its like, cat B cant possibly have no distinctions what, so i still hope maybe they'll get back to us. but no, they went on to E. and slowly, from e fast fast heatrbeat, i become no longer nervous, like lose hope ard what. like thwarted?! ard at e, what u think? then next it goes like this
lady: wair we missed some grps
*grabs isa's hand*
lady: in the cat B
*loosens hand and lose hope again*
lady: b... C4
*grabs hand again*
lady: C7.
omg miracles do happen in life, really. we didnt epect ourselves to even get merit, much less distinction, plus they ard went on to E ard! like wth?! i love life (: we were so happy, we smiled all e way from our seat to the stage HAHAHA. i love life, i love smp, omg i love everybody. now i truly understand that grades really ARENT everything. they're sth but not eevrything. its like, wheni do well in a test, its like 'yay' and then? it dies off. but this, omg it lasts, i smiled all e way from clementi back home (well on and off lah) omg isnt life so damn wonderful? plus ss pt postponed to fri!
haha okay tts what i say now, when sth else sucks again, i will start cursing life. but for now, let me love life. hahaha its been so long since i was this happy, seriosuly. hhahahaha i just cant stop laughing.
oh and sth else to digress, was talking to kovan kok, and he was telling me how disappointed dear CHRISTIAN HENG was. but the thing is, you, fat ass pig, didnt even do much for the prog, and u expect to get sth?! lile thwarted? and worse, kovan told me he was sad also because he COULDNT BELIEVE WE WERE BETTER THAN HIM, or at leas put more effort than him. lke its almost equivalent to me walking up to a 180cm man and telling him i cant believe im shorter than him. or telling miss universe i cant believe im not prettier than her. see the relevance? i mean, not tt im being ego, but even kovan agrees christian heng slacks.
and COME ON, u cant always indulge in the fact that guys are better in science than girls. okay tt may be true, but a guy like u? with the amt of effort u put in? in e first place, oh wait, are u even a guy? when i first saw you, i thought u were a pig who deformed and looked like a human. pardon me for being so mean, but i've had enough of this ass-shit egoistic guy erm pig? i dont know, blame my limited vocab.
oh and let me remind you, CHRISTIAN HENG, you gotta stop this. your ego is so BIG, then even you, such a big fat ass, cant take it okay? well if you say isa and i dont look good, trsut me, you dont look much better either. dont get me wrong, im not trying to spite you cos u said im ugly. but its a fact, anybody who wants to know how he looks like, tell me. i bet no one in this world, apart from his mum, thinks he looks good. and if u dont look good but ur good at heart, trust me, people will love you. but YOU, no looks no character, a real human/pig tragedy. okay? like thwarted?! you are ugly, probably one of the ugliest people i've met, both inside and out, honest (: today's honesty day. and worse, ur egoistic, ur ugly but you act like ur freaking handsome and hot. its okay to say we're ugly, but dont make it sound like ur handsome. much less to say, hot. and now, you think ur better than us in this proj? like *knocks on ur empty head* (echo...) thwarted?! dude, you gotta wake up from this wonderful fantastic world that you live in, where even dumb asses like you are handsome and smart. okay? cos truth is, ur not. so dude, wake up. stop living in that world or u'll never grow up. well u can choose not to, but when u go rj, good luck friend! girls will laugh at you, and guys will hate you (: thats life.
p.s im not mean, im acty a nice girl with sweet character (: well its tell a lie day now. okay but i really dont insult people just anyhow like tt, but this guy er man er pig, has really tested my patience. i tolerated seeing you once every week, one whole week during the june hols and beared with ur act shuai-ness and all tt. and now your sad cos u thikn you are better than us? oh a piece of advice, go eat your stinky ass s__t okay? okay good night for now (:
sweetkisses x 8:13 AM
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
haha i realised i havent been replying to the tags so yeah shall reply now. but dont laugh if im replying to people tt tagged like long long ago ahah. er what im talking about? ah dont know.
haha to eileen, zeslene, nattay <3, peiqi, latha, thwart, char i think tts all right? haha yup thanks for consoling me when i was down during the hols haha. haha kevy, did you hear the mai hum podcast?! hahaha so sexy!!! and to thwart again, u shrugger, u made me think of this qsn one okay, like thwarted?! to carmen, haha omg i didnt expect you to come to my blog! hahaha i thought u didnt even know me hahaha! oh well okay nvm. and tammy hello!
sorry, now u know why i dont wanna reply to tags. COS I SUCK. i dont know what to reply! then if i dont reply, then stupid thwart start saying me again. wait is it her? i dont know haha cant rmb. so see ah, i replied dont say i didnt.
anyway, bird just came out with a new shrugs word! song4 jian1! haha in chinese. and in tamil its erm theriyalae. hahhaa so cool right! imagine u shrug and say tt at e same time, plus a lil head shake. ((:
and today we had this survey thing, and yeah right, survey was just a word they use to make it sound like nothing. its a test. and i got math. gosh i forgot half of the stuff inside there, like factors, similarity and blah blah lah. and also cos i didnt bother to do, hello, they didnt allow calculators! after 3 years with tt good buddy of mine, u tell me i cant use it? i almost forgot how to add and subtract using the manual way :/ and then we had this IQ test, we had to finish 30 qsns in 15min. it was super easy! okay pls say tt its cos im smart (: and not cos its really easy. and to think i said 'i no IQ one leh' when i found out it was an iq test, ying ching heard it damn. haha. and back track abit.
today mrs ______ pmsed very badly! one and a half hours! as in, some things she said made sense, and i do agree, but she should try another approach, as in the way she speak ah, even if ur wrong u wont wanna admit.
what else? hmm this entry seem very narrative of my day, which is NOT GOOD. its supposed to be a blog to be used whenever sth unusual happens. now its so narrative. aiya whatever lah. and wth i just saw singapore idol and they showed sji. lol even sji has a proper concert theatre. even sji has a nicer theatre! now tell me, its nothing about ri or acsi being e exceptionally rich ones. i think rgs is the exceptionally no money one. dont say poor, not nice lah. haha. okay nothing already lah. bye
sweetkisses x 5:40 AM
